ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
