I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
