Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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