I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
