get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
