Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
