I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
