Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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