I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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