you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
