NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Come see our sink grown plant.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
