I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
