In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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