I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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