fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
