obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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