After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
