At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found puke in my bra..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
