No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
