marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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