so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
