Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize