I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
