thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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