At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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