So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
