i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
