Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
