I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
