it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
