I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
