i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
