I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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