Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
