Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize