when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
