he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
