some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i think i have herpe
just one?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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