that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
