why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
