woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
