is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
