my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
