the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
