how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
