Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Randomize
