"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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