When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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