1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
