you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
