There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
