last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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