she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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