So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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