You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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