I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
worst night to have a conscience
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
