DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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