i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
