that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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