Your mouth is God's brothel.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
