So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
