I'm gonna have a badass scar
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
