Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
