what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize