wakey wakey hands off snakey
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
