Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
